Attorney Michael de Broglio on: South Africa, Law, Politics, Attorneys, Sport, Photography, Technology, Gadgets, Media, Crime, Road Accidents Fund,
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One of my wife’s favourite expressions is that the path to hell is paved with good intentions! I must say that it is one of those expressions where experience just teaches you, again and again, that it is so true. It is so often the case in your office that you make an exception for, because the person says there is only one month to go in their case and begs you to set aside your usual rule that you do not take on a case with less than 6 months to go, where you end up with some raving lunatic who forever complains about you and your firm.
It is a distant relative or friend who begs you to take on a legal case, in a field that you don’t practice in and never have, that is the first one to complain later about the way you have handled it, about your lack of expertise, etc. It is always, for some sad reason, the favours that you are asked to do in exceptional circumstances that always turn out to be the problem. That is completely different of course to things that you do naturally for people of your own goodwill and in your own time, but it is uncanny how often it is those things you are asked to do that led you to discover that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. The other meaning of the phrase of course is that some people undertake to take steps, to do charitable things and then never do them – and that is largely for big talkers, but to me my experience has been that those good intentions so often have unforseen bad consequences.
Posted by Michael de Broglio on Wednesday 07-Sep-16
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Comments
Natasha said:
on Wednesday 05-Oct-16 01:39 PM
If you help someone they will stab you in the back I have seen that so many time be very careful of who you helping
Sally said:
on Monday 03-Oct-16 08:22 AM
I think there is a fine line between helping and people taking advantage from you. You need to know when to put down your foot and it is very difficult a know
Sinead said:
on Friday 30-Sep-16 04:49 PM
I must agree with you. This expression is so true! I've learnt the hard way from personal experience -___-
daria said:
on Wednesday 28-Sep-16 10:07 AM
Once you help a person they will always expect it, there is noting wrong with helping out but also set a limit as people always tend to take advantage of once good nature.
Liesl said:
on Tuesday 20-Sep-16 10:43 AM
This is a difficult one. When do I put my foot down and when do I just let it slide and "bend" the rules for someone. Anyone can kick down a barn but it takes a good carpenter to build one. I think a principle one should keep in mind is it's You vs You and not you vs other people. We are all a work in progress make sure you grow and better as a person regardless of whether people show you the gratitude or respect you deserve initially. In the end when the wheat is separated from the chaff you will come out on top if you persevere. Good character will always outshine a bad one.
tamzyn said:
on Wednesday 14-Sep-16 08:11 AM
This is often true, even charity has limits. I think people should still be willing so help others, but learn when enough is enough.
Bianca said:
on Monday 12-Sep-16 01:38 PM
I don't think that this is any reason to not help people or do favours for people. There will always be ungrateful people and people who take advantage but the goodness and generosity lies within you and does not go unnoticed.
Zanell said:
on Friday 09-Sep-16 03:35 PM
This is so true, people will always take advantage, and you will find that those people will never do the same things for you.
Ashleigh said:
on Friday 09-Sep-16 08:48 AM
It doesn't matter to me how much I help a person in need, it matters that you helped and that you will be rewarded for that help one day. Not that I expect it either, helping gives me a reward of feeling good about myself. Some people take advantage and some really appreciate it but how will you ever know unless you try to help anyway.
Melissa P said:
on Friday 09-Sep-16 08:28 AM
This statement is so true. I always feel that when you give your best people are always more than willing to throw it back in your face. It's sometimes necessary to put yourself first and say no.
Thabitha said:
on Friday 09-Sep-16 07:32 AM
That is the problem about life when you give help it will come back and destroy you, the very same people you've helped are the once who are going to pull you down or betray you.
Joyce said:
on Thursday 08-Sep-16 04:33 PM
I think the expression is very true, it happens other people take advantage of other people 's kindness or maybe sometimes not appreciating just happens. But I think it is good to have a good heart and willing to help where help is needed especially to a family.
Helen said:
on Thursday 08-Sep-16 02:05 PM
We are all different and one day we feel like helping someone and other day we are the once who needs help. I was always to shy and scared to ask for help and sort my problems out myself. Regarding helping someone, oh well if someone comes and ask for help we are all try and help, and this is our nature. I do agree that if you will put out in universe good intentions you will receive them back from the side you will never expect.
Catherine said:
on Thursday 08-Sep-16 12:51 PM
This is one of the expressions that is so spot on. Ones a friend was arrested and agreed to pay bail, needless to say nothing came out it.
Mathilda said:
on Thursday 08-Sep-16 11:51 AM
It's only by saying NO that you can concentrate on the things that are really important - I have learned to say NO because people have an ugly habit of always expecting you to say YES to help them and they will start taking advantage of that, my parents thought me to be kind and to help other people where need be but they also thought me to put myself first and not to let people walk all over you because they mistaking your kindness for weakness
charlotte said:
on Thursday 08-Sep-16 09:24 AM
I agree with Tamryn - mixing family and business is not a good idea at all. My husband tried to help his brother for years getting him jobs (as he does not hold down any job longer than 3 months!) and every time if blew up in my husband's face. He eventually decided to quit helping his brother. There's a nice Afrikaans expression that goes "elke ou krap sy eie potjie", which means every man for himself.
Jolene said:
on Thursday 08-Sep-16 09:21 AM
This is very true, you can go out of your way to help someone in need and they will complain or even expect more. You just simply dont do business with family.
Angelique P said:
on Wednesday 07-Sep-16 02:16 PM
I try to help people where I can and I don't expect something back but there are many people that take advantage of you and I think thats really rude.
Thats the reason why most people try to avoid helping other people because they have bad experience with the previous person.
I learned that it's never a good thing to do business with family or friends it always leads to trouble.
Tamaryn said:
on Wednesday 07-Sep-16 01:58 PM
It's often always the case with the best of intentions. Experience has often taught me that "no good deed goes unpunished" in one way or another. Insofar as work is concerned, I don't like to mix business and family, I'm happy to give legal advice but wont take on a friend/family member's matter personally- particularly in the area of family law!
Prishani said:
on Wednesday 07-Sep-16 12:47 PM
How true! I guess the truth is that sadly this is normally what happens when you go above and beyond to help someone, I suppose most people will also find fault, however I don't believe that this should stop us from still trying to do something good every once in a while!
Kaylee said:
on Wednesday 07-Sep-16 11:37 AM
There is a lot of truth in this article. I once helped out a friend a while ago with a legal issue at my old firm and she just complained about everything and said I wasn't doing anything and we were doing her a favour! Nowadays, I dont offer advice to friends because they just expect too much. At least over time you develop a thick skin and helping every tom, dick and harry isn't a priority anymore.
Melissa said:
on Wednesday 07-Sep-16 11:08 AM
I find it astounding that many people that come to you for help, can suddenly, later turn their back on you or ignore your advice and later, complain about it. This is why I minimize helping out specific people as it is never just satisfying come backs, it always has to be a negative one
Daniella said:
on Wednesday 07-Sep-16 11:04 AM
This statement is actually quite sad, if helping people comes with consequences then is anyone ever going to give a helping hand? it is a two way street though, you cannot expect help and once help is given to you, you cannot expect it to always go well. as Shakespare would expectations are the root of all heart ache.
Jessica M said:
on Wednesday 07-Sep-16 08:58 AM
I am still learning these lessons everyday. I can't find it in my heart to turn away from people in need. I know that one needs to give up eventually however I also believe no good intention goes unnoticed. One day we all will face a situation where we will need help and hopefully the ones you have helped will help you back. Never say never.
lucretia said:
on Wednesday 07-Sep-16 08:57 AM
It is not that you are a slow learner David, people, by nature like to help others. One thing you need to remember, people that complain will probably complain whether you do them a favour or not - they are out there, that will happen.
Nina said:
on Wednesday 07-Sep-16 08:34 AM
Great expression. I really don't mind helping someone out every now and again. But if I know there is someone that can most certainly do a better job, I will rather refer them and help out in another way.
Brenda Du Toit said:
on Wednesday 07-Sep-16 08:22 AM
I am always willing to help people where and when I able but always keeping in mind that charity starts at home. So if that make me a selfish person so be it.
Sarah said:
on Wednesday 07-Sep-16 08:20 AM
I haven't heard of that phrase but It is a good one to keep in mind. I like to help people but sometimes you need to put up boundaries if those people start to take advantage of you and start saying no without feeling guilty. It is heard sometimes to say no
Clare said:
on Wednesday 07-Sep-16 08:16 AM
I am always willing to help where I can I do set boundaries but I was raised to be kind and helpful and I will teach my Child the same but if you keep coming back after I have help you I will then start distancing myself because then you are taking advantage of me, and I don't like that.
Zindy said:
on Wednesday 07-Sep-16 07:46 AM
Very interesting phrase and true on so many levels. You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm. Sometimes a person has to say no and not feel guilty. Setting boundaries is not selfish but sometimes necessary.
david said:
on Wednesday 07-Sep-16 07:21 AM
100%
approximately every 6 months i have some sort of drama that relates to going out of my way to try and help someone i felt sorry for.
I am obviously a slow learner...
i really need to be selfish, and think only of myself.
although, if you ask my wife, she'll tell you i am already that selfish guy.
Johannesburg based attorney specializing in personal injury matters including Road Accident Fund claims and medical negligence matters. My interests include golf, reading and the internet and the way it is constantly developing. I have a passion for life and a desire for less stress!
