Attorney Michael de Broglio on: South Africa, Law, Politics, Attorneys, Sport, Photography, Technology, Gadgets, Media, Crime, Road Accidents Fund,
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I think one of the tremendous problems that many people have is jealousy. It particularly manifests itself when one of their friends starts becoming more successful in some way. I use that term loosely because we can all have arguments about how you measure success – whether it is about money, achievements, who your partner is, etc, etc. When one does not have money one certainly does not believe money is a way of measuring success and each person defines their own terms.
For myself, I have never been jealous of people. I try to think about what they are doing better than me that I can learn from and copy. In other words, I have always been of the view that I am better than some of the people I know at certain things and they are better than me at other things. I want to prove those things of mine which are not as good as theirs. Whether you want to call it assimilating or copying, I do believe that there is something I can learn from each person. The best example that people give in this regard is the former boxer, Mike Tyson, whose life has turned out to be much of a disaster. I don’t for one second think that Mike Tyson is more intelligent than me, I don’t think he is even intelligent, but I cannot deny that the part of his brain which operates his reflexes functions far better than my brain. I am not sure that that is something that I could copy, but what I am saying is even if I don’t regard him as being intelligent, I certainly accept that there are certain parts of his brain that function far better than mine, bearing in mind that all body movements are of course controlled ultimately by the brain.
In any event, I am rambling now, and as my wife says, keep it simple stupid or KISS. The reality though is that jealousy is a cancer that will rot you from within, which I have sadly seen it in quite a few of my friends in recent years. What is far better is to look at yourself and consider what your strengths are and what your weaknesses are. We all have strengths and we all have weaknesses. What are the strengths and weaknesses of your friends? What are the strengths of successful people that you know, see or observe or your friends? Have a look at those and see what you can use and learn from. There is no need to be jealous – you don’t after all want to be surrounded only by unsuccessful people or people who lurch from one disaster to another that you can sympathise with all day. It is far more beneficial and fun to be surrounded by successful people and to take inspiration from them. So change your mindset, change the way you are viewing things and see where you can improve, where can you make yourself better and how you can learn from those around you.
Posted by Michael de Broglio on Wednesday 24-Jan-18
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Comments
Tamaryn said:
on Friday 02-Feb-18 05:49 PM
I really have no time for jealousy or jealous people. It's an emotion I have never fully understood, and still don't! I've always associated jealousy with misery and, quite frankly, I think it's wasted energy and counter-productive, not to mention glaringly obvious. Why would a person even bother with it at all? And I do agree with what David says- when you begrudge another's success you curse your own- I see it happen time and time again without fail. I guess I can only pity those who "suffer" from jealousy, because I don't think I'll ever understand it.
Ashleigh said:
on Friday 02-Feb-18 09:22 AM
I am not jealous person. I am me and nothing is going to change that. I wont change to suite anyone either. I might take some tips and work it into my life. This life is temporary anyway, so why waste your time being or competing with someone you are not.
Liz said:
on Friday 02-Feb-18 08:02 AM
This is so true. I actually told my parents that I have learnt something from every single person I've met so far, no matter how small or insignificant, it is something that I did not know before. Jealousy is an ugly thing and I agree wholeheartedly that one should rather try to learn from someone that is better than you in some way rather than being bitter about it.
Sinead said:
on Thursday 01-Feb-18 10:15 AM
You're better off not being bitter about other people. That is exactly what jealousy is.
There's a saying I hear all the time: "People want to see you do well but not better than them." This statement is so true because I see it so often. I, however, do not surround myself with those kinds of people because they are the type to drag you down.
Worry 'bout yourself!*
Henrietta said:
on Wednesday 31-Jan-18 03:07 PM
Jealous is a very strong emotion and something that I am guilty of, but not in the sense of being jealous of someone's success or wealth that is something that has never bother me. Everyone for themself and if you studied hard and work hard and got somewhere in live then good for you it is something to be proud of not jealous.
Lucretia said:
on Wednesday 31-Jan-18 01:40 PM
This is a very hard topic for me to talk about because I battle, for many years, with a jealous streak I had. Eventually I accepted it and worked hard every day to be better than the day before. Over time it became easier to see peoples success as an inspiration rather than something to envy. When it comes to my personal life, I have always been happy with the way it is and often sit back and thank my lucky stars I don't have the stresses other people have.
Helen said:
on Wednesday 31-Jan-18 12:52 PM
I think this is very interesting blog to talk about and jealousy can make person very ill and unhappy. I would say that being jealous is natural instinct. Everyone has it but how we can manage this and turn in different feeling, like being happy for someone or proud of someones success. I also think that people when getting older learn a lot more about jealousy. I hate jealousy myself and if I feel this way sometimes I try really hard to control it!
Michelle said:
on Wednesday 31-Jan-18 07:35 AM
Jealousy makes people nasty. You can be the most beautiful person inside and out but once you are jealous the ugly in people come out. People will do ugly things to achieve what others have just because they also want something or be like someone. It usually happens when someone succeed better in life, than you are. I believe the way to beat jealousy is just to accept what you have and also to be happy with it.
Nikita said:
on Monday 29-Jan-18 04:42 PM
My Grandfather always said "it's not what you know, It's who you know". Surround yourself with driven and determined people. I brush off people that are negative and spend their lives moaning. Life does not stop for your negativity so pick yourself up and carry on.
Nicolle said:
on Monday 29-Jan-18 08:55 AM
I agree with Angelique, no one is immune to jealousy. The difference however lies with how an individual deals with this emotions. I don't necessarily believe it is a completely "evil" emotion if it inspires you to work harder, strive for more, allow your ambitions to grow with your development BUT only to a certain extent. Everything in moderation as they say.
Jadine E said:
on Monday 29-Jan-18 06:36 AM
You gain nothing when you are jealous of someone else's success but you can learn a lot more by striving to be yourself and learning from them.
Alexis said:
on Friday 26-Jan-18 04:01 PM
I agree completely - there is no need to be jealous but rather aspired as you say. Every one is different and everybody has certain skills that you mat not have. Or you do ,but have not gotten to the point of the other. I am always very happy for one whom achieves - they I am sure always deserve it - as I am sure it came with hard work
Jolene said:
on Friday 26-Jan-18 10:41 AM
Jealousy makes you nasty, rather focus on yourself. You will get jealous at some point in your life but how you deal with it makes a big difference, be inspired by the person and learn from their success.
People only rain on your parade because they're jealous of your sun and tired of their shade.
Suzanne said:
on Friday 26-Jan-18 09:33 AM
I agree with Angelique J here. I think we have all felt jealous at some point in our lives, especially our younger selves when we have not yet accepted that we are all our own person, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. I think the one thing that stands out for me of the successful people I know is perseverance. Something I don't always have, but in stead of being jealous of the people around me, I have tried in the past few years to work on that and will also achieve my goals.
Brenda Du Toit said:
on Friday 26-Jan-18 08:49 AM
This is an interesting blog,Jealousy is very serious thing today you are your own person and you don't need to be Jealousy over anybody else.
Angelique Jurgens said:
on Thursday 25-Jan-18 12:27 PM
I don't think anyone is immune to jealousy. I believe that each person has at some point in their life felt jealous - whether they admit it or not. It just depends on how long they allow the emotion to be felt until they turn it into admiration and rather trying to be like that person. It is a waste of energy but an emotion one needs to feel to want to better themselves. People want you to do better but never better than them and that is when jealousy sets in. I do agree that it is a terrible trait but certainly not one that you cant change. Just sacrifice some luxuries, time and money to better yourself or get left behind - It is that simple! Success will follow
Mathilda Du Preez said:
on Thursday 25-Jan-18 08:39 AM
I agree with the blog 100% Jealousy, greed and envy won’t get you very far in life.
Never compare your life to other people's lives we are all different and do stuff differently
You can’t dwell over other people’s success, rather put that focus in making your own success
"A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms"
Bianca N said:
on Thursday 25-Jan-18 08:25 AM
I think that if you are jealous of someone it causes you to focus so much on what they have that you miss the opportunity to learn from them or miss all the opportunities that come your way.
Zindy said:
on Thursday 25-Jan-18 07:59 AM
I couldn't agree more with this blog. Jealousy is a terrible trait. We all develop in our own ways and there is no point in being jealous over someone that is more successful. Just work harder to achieve where you want to be.
prishani said:
on Wednesday 24-Jan-18 05:07 PM
This is an interesting blog, jealousy can really change your personality and outlook on life. This is definitely a way to look at it in a positive manner and identify what you can learn from that person and try and focus on that instead of why you think they are better than you! It won’t be easy though! I really enjoyed the advice in this blog!
Melissa said:
on Wednesday 24-Jan-18 01:32 PM
Jealousy makes you nasty. You are your own person and you must be satisfied with yourself, so there is no excuse to be jealous on someone else.
Megan said:
on Wednesday 24-Jan-18 12:57 PM
I guess we were all created differently for a reason and I believe jealous is because we don't see something in ourselves that others possess. We're always comparing ourselves to others and that's were jealousy stems from. If we can all accept who we are and as Daniella says, our biggest competition should be ourselves.
Daniella said:
on Wednesday 24-Jan-18 12:43 PM
Jealousy the evil green monster. Jealousy always comes from a place of insecurity & fear. if someone is confident in who they are and willing to grow and change there jealousy wouldn't be a problem. However I don't think anyone is immune to this emotion, I think it makes all the difference on how you handle the emotion and better yourself. Your biggest competition should be yourself.
Jadine Richards said:
on Wednesday 24-Jan-18 10:47 AM
I agree. Birds of a feather flock together and misery attracts misery. I do choose to surround myself, not only with successful business or academically inclined people, but people who are also successful in their personal attributes (wisdom and a kind heart). I learn so much from both these schools and I am convinced that it has only benefited me in a positive way.
Thabitha said:
on Wednesday 24-Jan-18 08:47 AM
Jealousy is a very serious thing and what I have realized about jealous people is they are not happy at all about almost everything and they are bitter, angry and ungrateful
Sarah said:
on Wednesday 24-Jan-18 08:44 AM
We are all different , that is the best part of being different is to learn from each other. We all can't be successful in the same ways. “The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.” ― Bette Midler
Michelle D said:
on Wednesday 24-Jan-18 08:31 AM
Inspiring advice for a Wednesday morning. It's true that no matter how good you are at something, there will most likely be someone better, which means that if you choose being jealous over being inspired, you're going to live quite a miserable life. It's good to learn from the strengths of others and to only compare yourself to the person you were yesterday.
Jessica Apfel said:
on Wednesday 24-Jan-18 08:02 AM
“Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistable urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee.”
― J.R. Ward,
The quote above best encapsultes the ancillary emotions that come with jealousy. There will always be someone better, faster or smarter - one should simply aspire to be the very best that they can be and it wouldn't hurt to take a few hints and tips along the way!
patrick said:
on Wednesday 24-Jan-18 08:01 AM
you said it it better' a cancer that can rot one from within' . We mostly do things by copying .
Bianca R said:
on Wednesday 24-Jan-18 07:30 AM
I think that being jealous of people/someone is a terrible thing, there is no way that you are going to feel any better, carrying that jealously around with you. I have seen it to an extent that a certain person would simply not be prepared at all to give any credit to another person, simply because of jealously of that person. I think your approach of seeing what you can change/improve on, is the way to go, you are not going to change anything if you are just constantly jealous of anyone else, and their achievements.
david said:
on Wednesday 24-Jan-18 07:04 AM
we you begrudge other's success, you curse your own.
Johannesburg based attorney specializing in personal injury matters including Road Accident Fund claims and medical negligence matters. My interests include golf, reading and the internet and the way it is constantly developing. I have a passion for life and a desire for less stress!
