Attorney Michael de Broglio on: South Africa, Law, Politics, Attorneys, Sport, Photography, Technology, Gadgets, Media, Crime, Road Accidents Fund,
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I was fascinated to see how dating and the Internet is evolving. It seems that it is all about looks now, and very little to do with the personality, matching or intelligence. The new application that is apparently booming around the world is Tinder, which lets you go through a whole lot of photographs of people in your near vicinity and either like or don’t like them. The other people obviously get to do the same and as soon as two people indicate that they like each other, a match is made and you are notified. It works on your location, so for example if you are based in Johannesburg but visit Durban, you are suddenly going to be shown new matches and people in Durban are going to see your photos.
As I understand it, “like” in this case means not just that you are ready to meet, or this is according to the website itself, but that you are interested in a lot more and on a speedy basis! I think about 7 or 8 years ago there was a similar site, called Hot or Not where you simply decided whether somebody was good looking or not, but it was not really for the purposes of a meeting based solely on two or three photographs. I guess we can put it down to our consumer society and it is more than just goods that are being consumed at a rapid rate these days! From what I have seen it has a good number of people on it already, but I don’t expect any comments on this blog other than, “It sounds interesting, and I’ll check it out/it is not for me” given that most people would rather not be too honest on personal issues relating to dating etc! With social media though these days, not much that you do remains private for very long and so I think that may explain why many people don’t even put a description with their photograph, or not a meaningful one anyway – because it always gives them the chance to say they were just checking it out, or thought that it was a dating site for serious relationships! I have also heard about WeChat being used also for dates and more on a “tonight basis”.
Posted by Michael de Broglio on Thursday 21-Aug-14
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Comments
Nicky said:
on Friday 22-Aug-14 04:55 PM
There are psychos everywhere, but there are also good' decent people everywhere-so whether you meet someone online or in a bar or wherever risks and opportunities exist with both methods.
I am glad though that I'n not in the dating scene anymore-I always think that I wouldn't have made it in the dating scene of nowadays where social media plays such a big role. I always hear people complaining about "chatees" taking too long to reply and the chatee ends up being dumped; deleted or blocked for taking too long to reply. I'm not really into social media and chatting so I would definitely have been dumped, deleted or blocked all the time.
Sinead said:
on Friday 22-Aug-14 04:54 PM
It seems like a great way to meet new people. I wouldn't use dating sites, but I have nothing against them either. It also seems like you can't fake whatever goes on your profile which is really cool.
Henrietta said:
on Friday 22-Aug-14 04:51 PM
I don't have a problem with internet dating but I prefer the old fashion way. It more fun almost like a lucky packet..... I'll just say that those who does internet dating enjoy it but when meeting the person for the first time do it in public places you'll never know the person you chatting to, the same for old fashion way.... first dates until you know the person should always be in public......
Marzelle said:
on Friday 22-Aug-14 03:38 PM
I've never really been on chat sites, not really my thing, but I really dont see anything wrong with it, I think a little company over the phone is a good thing, nothing wrong with that. Meeting a guy/girl in a bar or at a party, or meeting someone on a dating site, same thing, different scenario. Infact I think it could be fun to talk to new people, just innocent fun:) also heard of a lot of people that met their partners on a site. But im also very old fashion and traditional. Everyone is different, and NO one is in any position to judge others.
Monique said:
on Friday 22-Aug-14 03:33 PM
I have never used tinder. But i know a few people who have met their boyfriends on chat sites or even tinder. One friend of mine met a guy on a chat site and they have been together for 7 years. We have all met him, and he is really an awesome guy who treats my friend like gold. Another friend of mine has recently gone onto tinder, and yet there are a few creeps on there, but she too met a decent guy whom she has now started seeing. I don't think its a bad thing. Go out and meet people or meet them on a chat site.. Who cares.
Sorea said:
on Friday 22-Aug-14 12:35 PM
But wait, do we not all take basic precautions when meeting potential partners, whether it is online or in the "real world"? What is the major difference, other than the fact that a dating website grants us an extra buffer to screen the people you might have a potential interest in? I believe that if you are smart about it, it makes no difference if you are meeting people online or in real life. Whether it is for a long term relationship or a meaningful overnight relationship has, at the end of the day, nothing to do with anybody other than yourself and the other person you choose to spend the time with.
Nikita said:
on Friday 22-Aug-14 11:55 AM
Some people are clearly very sensitive about this topic. I don't think "old school" people need to be torn apart here. Who really cares? We are all grownups... Whatever floats your boat is what I think.
Anna said:
on Friday 22-Aug-14 10:49 AM
What on earth is wrong with the staff here! Youd think we were doing something absolutely outrageous with the posts that are being made on your blog. Is everyone really so scared and so sheltered and so cautious? How on earth do they leave their houses in the mornings&.with all the rapists, killers, mad men that they are so concerned may be crossing their paths? Cant believe they actually set foot of their houses. Thank heavens for those of us with a sense of adventure and who take action to meet people. Of course were careful when we meet people from dating sites and of course we meet these people in public places. Are the staff here really so naïve to think that they are safer meeting men in clubs and bars where the date rape drug is popped into drinks at the drop of a hat and where they are more exposed to drugs, men who are boozed up and get into fights or men who just wont take no for an answer when youve flirted with them on the dance floor, at the bar, outside at the party etc&.
Its irrelevant how you meet a person, the dangers of dating remain the same however youve met and the staff seem to be confusing those 2 issues.
Naturally you dont spew forth all of your personal information on the site, just as you dont tell a person at a club or a party where you live, what you surname is, where you work etc until you are comfortable to do so. You can give as much or as little information as you want to another person when you are getting to know them. If they look you up on Facebook, I would hope that our staff members are not stupid enough to have their contact numbers, address etc on their page for all to see.
Angelique said:
on Friday 22-Aug-14 10:34 AM
I must agree with Safia, sometimes you have to put yourself out there and find your prince charming. I don't think anyone in a relationship would admit going on a site. If I were single I wouldn't mind joining a site like that, like I have in the past but it gets boring and I usually unsubscribe quite quickly. However, you need to make sure you do a thorough check on the person before and always make sure to meet in a public place. Just use your senses and don't fall head over heels just because of cyber chatting etc. Like everything in life there are advantages and disadvantages. Tinder is linked to your facebook so you can view more than one pictures and check if the person is legit.
Jessica said:
on Friday 22-Aug-14 10:34 AM
Oh and just to put peoples minds at ease, I have two friends that met their husbands off chat sites, one friend met a guy from England was skeptical of him, then he came here for 3 weeks and now they are happily married for 4 years and he adopted her son. The other friend is with her boyfriend she met on a chat site now for 7 years. So that is my reason why I decided to try it and I am glad I did.
Jessica said:
on Friday 22-Aug-14 10:19 AM
I just do not get what is so bad about it, I mean meeting someone in person face to face should scare people more than on cyber if you ask me.
Why? Because who knows what that person you meet face to face at a club or friends place etc might do (might follow you home, stalk you etc) on cyber you can at least find out more about the person first and check it all out first then decide if you want to meet that person.
Stephanie said:
on Friday 22-Aug-14 10:12 AM
First time hearing about this site now. I might go check it out, meet new people and make more friends. I will not recommend spending your time on the site for hours, and these sites do get addictive. Just be careful but have fun.
Stephanie said:
on Friday 22-Aug-14 10:12 AM
First time hearing about this site now. I might go check it out, meet new people and make more friends. I will not recommend spending your time on the site for hours, and these sites do get addictive. Just be careful but have fun.
Zindy said:
on Friday 22-Aug-14 10:04 AM
Never Been on a dating site before. Never needed to, I have to agree I like to meet my guy in person. People from Dating sites are very Different in person from what i have heard. They have all the confidence in the world chatting on these sites but then when it comes to being in person then Everything you would of imagined about the person is the complete opposite. So Just be careful to give out personal information to strangers and always try to meet in Public places if your keen.
Lucretia said:
on Friday 22-Aug-14 09:41 AM
I don't think there is anything wrong with a dating site, in fact, it is often a nice way to get to know someone else in the comfort of your own home where you are safe and secure and can be completely yourself. One can get to know another and enjoy each others company and personality long before you meet. As long as you don't give out personal details, you should be fine, then, when you are ready to meet, do so in a place that will be safe. Not only "creepy" people chat online. Just be careful and it can be enjoyable.
Liesl said:
on Friday 22-Aug-14 09:37 AM
I have never attempted any dating sites but I know of a few people who are on Tinder and they have reported quite positively about their experience with the site. I suppose it's different strokes for different folks, do whatever works for you as a person.
Jolene said:
on Friday 22-Aug-14 09:16 AM
I never used any online dating sites and I dont think I ever will, Im definitely too scared. I agree with Dune on this one, I think it so much more fun to go out and meet new people and you can see what they actually look like&a photo can 'lie'! #photoshop
Sarah said:
on Friday 22-Aug-14 07:17 AM
If you don't give out any personal information then I don't see a problem with teh date sites.
Brenda said:
on Thursday 21-Aug-14 04:00 PM
Such Sites do not Interest me at all .Have not been one an date site Before
Anna said:
on Thursday 21-Aug-14 02:11 PM
It['s just a bit of fun people.....stop taking everything so seriously. Just like everything else in life, ignore it if you're not interested. The traditional manner of meeting people may provide you with a traditional, boring partner - so if you're up for an adventure and the possibility of meeting new friends or a boyfriend/girlfriend, give Tinder a try. I've been on several "dates" through Tinder and have met some incredibly self centred, arrogant men, one of whom was still married and looking to see if there was something better out there or maybe just to have sex (who knows!) but I can say the same about some of the men I've met on blind dates or though friends.......
Safia said:
on Thursday 21-Aug-14 02:06 PM
I met my husband on the internet. i think internet is a great way of meeting someone who potentially can become your life partner. If would be terrible boring to rely only of circle of friends,referrals or chance meeting. Famous idiom:"If the mountain does not come to Mohamed,then Mohamed will go himself to the mountain" sometimes the "prince" wont find you and you have to look for him and find him yourself.
Kaylee said:
on Thursday 21-Aug-14 01:24 PM
I tried Tinder, and I know a lot of my friends who are Tinder. Firstly, its quite awkward to see you ex boyfriend on Tinder and many of your friends. I chatted to a couple people over Tinder, but honestly, I think I am just too traditional to actually invest in someone I met over Tinder. Its all about the romance, the initial attraction, connection and chemistry. My only dating advice is to go out and meet new people, even when the people you meet are not "dating" material, you never know how many people they know, its all about networking. Also never overlook your friends, as amazing relationships over develop from friendships. And this is where I currently stand by deciding a friend, who I've known for ages is the best kind of boyfriend material ;)
Ashleigh said:
on Thursday 21-Aug-14 12:38 PM
The plus with Dating sites is that your personal information is not given to an individual until you trust them enough to give it. You also get to sweep the dirty ones aside to eventually find the really nice decent ones. How I know this is how a few people I have met and even my sister found really decent people through these sites which could be hard to find in public places. Where is it safe anywhere anyway?
Dune said:
on Thursday 21-Aug-14 12:36 PM
In my 25 years I have never been bothered to go any sort of chat/date site. Why hide behind a computer when you can go out dress up, and meet new people. I prefer the old fashioned way. But I guess it depends on your personality, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert.
Cornelie said:
on Thursday 21-Aug-14 12:33 PM
Chat sites are not really my type of thing, I've been with my husband for 9 years now so don't even know how or where to start. But if push come to shove i will go on a site. I think it will be fun.
Melissa said:
on Thursday 21-Aug-14 12:10 PM
Not interested in these type of sites
Clare said:
on Thursday 21-Aug-14 12:09 PM
I for one don't like these date sites... What happened to the good old days where you go out get dressed up and meet the person face to face, these sites open you up to perverts and old people that have nothing better to do then make your life a living hell. And again people that go for looks need to start seeing help! because i do believe there is someone for everyone and if your "soul-mate" is ugly who are you judge a book by there cover. #JUSTSAYING
Clare said:
on Thursday 21-Aug-14 12:09 PM
I for one don't like these date sites... What happened to the good old days where you go out get dressed up and meet the person face to face, these sites open you up to perverts and old people that have nothing better to do then make your life a living hell. And again people that go for looks need to start seeing help! because i do believe there is someone for everyone and if your "soul-mate" is ugly who are you judge a book by there cover. #JUSTSAYING
Lourien said:
on Thursday 21-Aug-14 12:07 PM
I think applications like these can become dangerous, you always wonder why such nice and attractive people are still single and at the end of the they very little of these people find their match on these sites although there has been some cases which it did happen...I am also not interested in any of these sites... The Internet has become a very big social network and the applications are getting better every day.
Bianca R said:
on Thursday 21-Aug-14 12:00 PM
I know of a few people using Tinder and me myself am an extremely paranoid person in terms of safety, it would concern me deeply to meet with a stranger you really know nothing about but what is being "sold" to you on this site/app. It doesn't bother me though and if it works for you, then it works but it isn't something that I would look into if I was single.
Johannesburg based attorney specializing in personal injury matters including Road Accident Fund claims and medical negligence matters. My interests include golf, reading and the internet and the way it is constantly developing. I have a passion for life and a desire for less stress!
