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A new economics paper, published by the National Bureau of Economic Research, has some interesting findings about marriage. They basically say that you need to marry the person who is your best friend.
They have also concluded that people who are married are happier than those who are single, particularly during the mid-life timeframe. The scientists say in particular this is because people who are married can handle mid-life stress better together because they can share the load and they can share their friendship, whereas obviously single people do not have that benefit. The other findings include findings that stable marriages are more common among educated, high income people and that people who are less educated and earn lower incomes are more likely to be divorced. The important part of the survey is that they found that people who are married to somebody that they consider to be their best friend are more likely to be satisfied in their marriage than others. The social scientists say what this means is that one must not forget, in living your daily life, that the most important thing with your marriage partner is your friendship with that person.
Posted by Michael de Broglio on Friday 16-Jan-15
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Comments
Sinead said:
on Monday 19-Jan-15 12:46 PM
Hmmm... I don't think it is only about marrying your best friend. There's more to it than that.
Sheena said:
on Monday 19-Jan-15 07:39 AM
My husband is my best friend .I wont say we were best friends from the moment we started dating but as we got to know each other we became best friends. As Cornelie said , its all about communication
Helen said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 03:59 PM
Oh well, I did not marry my best friend, but right now I can say my husband is my best friend and etc...
I know couples who has been best friends for an ages but when got married after few years has got divorce. Very interesting comments to read!
Jolene said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 01:23 PM
Its not the lack of love, but the lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Gillian Benson said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 12:38 PM
I'm married to my best friend!
Kaylee said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 12:31 PM
@Sorea, I think the whole point of the article was being friends with your partner, I don't think because you date someone who you are friends with first means that you are using your friendship as a substitute for a relationship. You can actually be friends with someone first before it turns into a relationship. I don't think you should limit your life by defining someone as a friend that you would never get romantically involved with.
Anna said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 12:18 PM
That's all very sweet and the idea of marrying your best friend has been romanticised in may chick lit books however the harsh reality of marriage is that it takes way more time, dedictaion, trust and commitment than a relationship with a friend or even a best friend. You can ignore a friend for days or weeks on end if they've criticised you, arrived late for dinner, forgotten to return a phone call or bought you a lousy birthday present but it's VERY different in a marriage. You have to find a way to work through your partner's inconsideration and selfishness and rudeness and laziness.....the list goes on....you have to compromise for the duration of the marriage.
We all believe we are marrying our best friend when we get married but the monotony and reality of the day to day waking up and falling asleep with the same person for the rest of your days with all the problems that life throws at you both in between can often break your friendship with your partner and result in the dissolution of the marriage.
I'm not sure how my best friend, Keleigh, would feeling about marrying me....I think her husband Brett might quite like the idea though!!!
Sorea said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 12:17 PM
Actually, Kaylee, I have a lot of very good looking friends. But I make friends with them because of friendship and not as a substitute for relationships.
Ashleigh said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 10:51 AM
I don't think anyone can say it better then what Caron just said. High Income Couples have more to lose with Money, status's, etc through divorce than what Low Income Couples do.
Thabitha said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 10:37 AM
It is nice to marry someone you can trust and be friend with and I dont think I will survive the noisy house I will also choose to divorce
Jessica said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 10:20 AM
Please will someone give Caron a bell's, very very very well said.
Cornelie said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 10:18 AM
I think it doesn't matter if you marry your best friend or just someone you met 3 months ago and get married. The main thing in a marriage is communication.
Kaylee said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 09:52 AM
Sorea, clearly you don't have any good looking friends, maybe you should meet mine?
Sorea said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 09:29 AM
I had this conversation with some friends the other day. I have a few best friends, and I don't want to sleep with any of them. I don't think that marriages last just because it is your best friend. I think a marriage last because both parties are vested in the relationship and interested in and aware of each other's lives, interests and needs. And both parties actually invest equally of their time and resources (both physical and emotional) in making the relationship work. I do not believe relationships can be defined as being "successful" based on something so arbitrary as "I married my best friend".
And I have to agree with Caron on the so-called success rate of wealthy people. People stay in unhappy marriages for a myriad of reasons and in marriages between wealthy people, this is usually because of money and a lifestyle. The divorce stats might be higher for lower income relationships, but that does not mean high income relationships are necessarily more successful.
Caron said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 09:13 AM
From what I've seen and experienced, the stability of educated, high income marriages is based on exactly that; MONEY. The marriage is only a public facade while behind closed doors one of them is staying for the money and either one or both are having affairs. Those who are lesser educated and lower income earners do not need to be pretentious and keep-up a public facade, therefore, divorce for them is better than staying in a loveless unhappy marriage!
Elektra said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 08:57 AM
I completely agree. And that's what I look forward to go home to everyday is that special person that makes life that much better. Work takes up 70% of ones life, at least spending that 30% happy and with someone you want to be with is worth it.
Nicolle said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 08:47 AM
Generation Y doesnt seem to understand the meaning of commitment. From job-hopping, relationship-hopping and engaging in one-night flings. They eschew any notion of long-term planning and they certainly dont worry about being fiscally responsible. Gen Y rationalise their actions with Why now? Im still young! and I have all the time in the world for that.
Sure Gen Y may want to blame their parents for encouraging us to Follow your dreams and Anything is possible but I say that a vast majority of Gen Yers have commitment phobias and some of these phobias are driven by the economic issues. Many people do not want to commit until they are in a Stronger, more secure Financial Position. Not comprehending that it may be, just may be, easier to grow your wealth, health and happiness when you are part of a team.
.. and as a favourite lyric from The Lego Movie: Everything is AWESOME! Everything is cool when youre part of a team!
Kaylee said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 08:47 AM
My question is, why wouldn't you marry your best friend? This seems obvious to me because why would you marry someone you don't consider your friend, then you are just marrying a stranger? The truth is, looks fade, you have to be able to see past attraction and actually enjoy being with that person. I say this a lot to my friends, that you shouldnt' overlook the people already in your life, as friendships often develop into the best kinds of relationships.
I do however think that this is not the only requirement for a happy marriage. Faithfulness, financial stability and trust go hand in hand with marrying your best friend.
Money isn't everything and I constantly see unhappy rich married people. If you cant be friends with the person, you will be bored and look elsewhere.
Jessica said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 08:43 AM
I have always believed that you can not marry a person that you can not communicate with and trust, it is pointless to even date someone like that less alone marry them. If you can't trust or speak to your partner, you are looking for big trouble and a pointless marriage.
Liesl said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 08:42 AM
One sign for me that you really have love and a solid bond in your relationship is when you and your loved one can be free to be yourself, neither one is motivated by fear, because someone who really knows and respects your heart never needs to question it. Next to love no two things are more valued than trust and loyalty.
Clare said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 08:33 AM
I am getting married soon and im marring my best friend he knows me better then i know my self. I love my fiance very much and he is awesome.
Nikita said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 08:32 AM
I agree with this! At the end of the day friendship between partners is extremely important. Some marry for looks, some marry for money but I definitely want to marry my best friend. His money can't buy your love and it certainly won't pay for your divorce lawyer!
Alexis said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 08:27 AM
How can you marry a person if you are not the best of friends. In every relationship, there are always ups and downs and it is the sticking together through thick and thin that makes it work.
Marisa said:
on Friday 16-Jan-15 08:23 AM
I am with my best friend now and it is 4 years that we are together, i am happier now with him than what i was the first 2 years.. the longer we are together in a relationship, the bigger our bond gets.. could not ask for better.
Johannesburg based attorney specializing in personal injury matters including Road Accident Fund claims and medical negligence matters. My interests include golf, reading and the internet and the way it is constantly developing. I have a passion for life and a desire for less stress!