Attorney Michael de Broglio on: South Africa, Law, Politics, Attorneys, Sport, Photography, Technology, Gadgets, Media, Crime, Road Accidents Fund,
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I was going through the comments on an article in the New York Times, and invariably it was about politics, but the person’s comment, which was selected as one of the best picks of the comments, related to more than just the issue being discussed.
It was just a reminder, and it is one of those kinds of stories that need to go in those books about not stressing the small stuff. They said that years ago, when they have just moved to the suburbs from a city, they were planning an elaborate house party, so that they could introduce themselves to all the neighbours and make a good impression and a local advised them, “Don’t worry, your guests will find something bad to say about you anyway.” It is always good to remember that, no matter what you do, and sometimes in spite of your best efforts, and just because you have actually made the effort, people will find time to criticise you, they will find time to say things about you and however hard it is to accept the advice, you must always appreciate the fact that there is something threatening or worrying to them about you, that they continually have to make such stories.
Posted by Michael de Broglio on Tuesday 11-Oct-16
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Comments
Tersia said:
on Friday 21-Oct-16 10:26 AM
This is so true. There are always the people who are the critics - sitting judging everybody and every thing and then there are the people who are always criticized no matter their best efforts and always trying to impress people they will never be good enough. It's a sad and cruel world we live in.
Nicky said:
on Thursday 20-Oct-16 09:19 AM
The purpose behind criticism should also be evaluated-is it because there really is a problem ; is it due to jealousy; anger; spite; wanting to break someone down; wanting to build someone up or because the criticizer is generally a negative person. Determining the reason for the criticism I think is important in deciding in how to deal with it.
Sally said:
on Monday 17-Oct-16 04:41 PM
I recently downloaded two sayings "I try so hard to do right but its never good enough" and "Northing hurts more than trying your absolute best and still not being good enough" and both are so true in so many ways.
Brenda van den Bergh said:
on Monday 17-Oct-16 02:44 PM
I dont think anyone can say that no one has ever bad mouthed them in their lives. This is the world we live in... it is a dog eat dog world. But it is your reaction to those people, that make a difference. Are you going to let the opinions of others dictate who you are, or are you going to dust it off and carry on. Life can be cruel, but when we stop focusing on what people think, we can actually make a difference.
Thabitha said:
on Monday 17-Oct-16 02:35 PM
What I don't like about the people who are criticizing all the time is sometimes they can destroy you especially the bad once.
Sandra said:
on Monday 17-Oct-16 01:28 PM
There is good criticism as well as bad criticism. Sometimes one needs criticism to grow further and to improve their stance on life. However, too much criticism puts a person off in doing something again or simply stop doing it overall
Cornelie said:
on Monday 17-Oct-16 01:12 PM
It does not matter how hard you try to please people or to impress them they will always find something wrong.
tamzyn said:
on Monday 17-Oct-16 01:11 PM
You can never win with people, what will make some happy will not make everyone happy. MelissaP, your wedding is for you, and as lng as you are happy everyone else must just deal with it:)
Ashleigh said:
on Monday 17-Oct-16 09:26 AM
Criticism has benefits to teach us what not to do but also it can be such a negative thing at the same time. Sometimes it can be used unnecessarily and abused and can make one feel bad about themselves. But which human doesn't do it?
Jolene said:
on Friday 14-Oct-16 04:23 PM
Before you judge me, make sure you are perfect!
Nicolle said:
on Friday 14-Oct-16 03:42 PM
"To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing." - Elbert Hubbard. So basically, be dead.
Henrietta said:
on Thursday 13-Oct-16 03:58 PM
Criticism and negativity is everywhere. I have to agree with a lot of comments here and that is - to hell what people think or say about you. I think when it hurts the most is when people that you least expect, criticise or bad mouth you behind your back.
Im also guilty of judging a book by its cover , I have judge 2 of my best friends poorly in the beginning and today we still best friends.
We are all different and thanks for that imagine how boring our lives would have been if we were all the same and because of this it is better to sometimes just keep your opinion to yourself. If you go to a wedding and criticise the food or the music you should remember its not your wedding so it should not be to your liking but the bride and groom same goes for parties etc. we all have different taste.
Angelique Jurgens said:
on Wednesday 12-Oct-16 04:53 PM
It's like when you have a birthday party or wedding - your guests will never truly be satisfied even though they are getting a free meal, they will criticise everything from the food, to your dress, your figure, your hair, the bar, the flowers - anything really. Lucky their opinion is just that - their own.
Sarah said:
on Wednesday 12-Oct-16 04:41 PM
That is so true, people talk weather it is positive or negative. Its what you do with the comments awards that is important, are you going to let it effort you or take the negative comments and use them to improve yourself.
Sinead said:
on Wednesday 12-Oct-16 04:40 PM
I couldn't agree more... Take everything with a pinch of salt!
Another thing is: people never remember when you treated them well. The second things go sour, they have a lot to say about you negatively.
I read somewhere: "Do what you want, people are going to judge you anyway." Those who can criticize you to your face are real, and not months later either...
I also think you shouldn't trust people that constantly have negative things to say about others (esp their friends) - because if they can do that to their other friends, they can do it to you too...
I agree with Mathilda, it's definitely out of jealousy or the fact that they are threatened by you... And I also think the world would be better if people stopped worrying about others. Worry about yourself!
Suzanne said:
on Wednesday 12-Oct-16 02:07 PM
Unfortunately very true. Negativity is all over, especially when people are discussing other people. You will never please everyone.
Prishani said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 05:20 PM
How true! You can never please anyone and I don't think one should even be living and doing things to please people, its always easier said than done, but I am sure people will live a happier life if they just accept the simple fact that people will always criticise no matter what.
Daniella said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 04:51 PM
People will always have something bad to say about you and its going to happen where ever you go. Honestly at the end of the day no one is perfect and the only true people out there are the ones that can give you constructive criticism to your face. The people that criticizes you behind your back are cowards.
Juliet said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 12:29 PM
I think taking and processing criticism is a natural way of keeping the status quo. Without accepting criticism the world would be full of Donald Trumps believing they are perfect and in turn there is no improvement. With regards to processing criticism, you mustn't internalize everything others say about you, some of which can be complete lies, but you also mustn't refuse to accept that you have areas of improvement. Then you need to take action and improve. On giving criticism, always try not to be nasty. Sometimes it has the opposite effect. The way you deliver criticism is also important.
Melissa said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 11:30 AM
I always say, don't judge a book by it's cover, if they want to say bad things about you let them. Just smile and wave :)
daria said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 10:45 AM
Live life to impress yourself not others, if people want to criticize then let them,
Helen said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 10:44 AM
I always like to read quotes from different famous people, I would say that this quote will relate to me: "Critics are our friends, they show us our faults"
Jessica M said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 09:39 AM
This is why I have a lot of friends, because the friends I have know I really don't care what people say or do. They not living my life for me, they not making the hard decisions I have to everyday. Therefore I don't care what they say. I don't lose sleep over it.
charlotte said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 09:05 AM
My husband always says as long as people are talking about you, it means that you are making impressions on them (be it good or bad) - but you have to start worrying the day they stop talking about you! I quite believe in that too.
Joyce said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 09:03 AM
I think criticism goes with jealousy
Tamaryn said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 09:00 AM
I read the Four Agreements by Eckhard Toole and the one "agreement" that always stood out for me was to never take anything personally - what people say and do is about them, and not you.
You can also tell a lot about a person by the way that they speak of others, behave, throw tantrums and the like- and it's advantageous to have this inside knowledge.
I would really recommend the book though- fantastic read and made a big impact on my life (my two cents worth).
brumilde said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 08:59 AM
Some people do notice the small details in the effort you make.but those are few. people will always say something bad about you because they dont understand you. we are all different and live our own lives the way we choose. whats that saying, dont judge me unless you have walked a mile in my shoes, this is easier said than done. even people who you think are your friends will talk bad about you
Catherine said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 08:51 AM
It's true no matter what you do, people will always find things to criticize about. Constructive criticism is understandable but baseless criticism without any substance is just demeaning. Some people generally have an innate habit of criticizing which is very annoying.
Alexis said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 08:48 AM
Is that just not the truth. Life is always throwing you curve balls and you are always critisied no matter what you do and how well you do it. Nobody is perfect, everbody makes mistakes and it is whether or not you learn from those mistakes which makes a difference. I care not what people think of me as who are they in my life and what are they going to bring to it. They can have their insecurities :)
Dune said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 08:46 AM
To Melissa P, no matter what you do say or how much you spend on your wedding someone will always find something wrong or complain about something, and that's usually the person that lacks something in their own life/heart. Don't be phased by it, its your special day. It's in peoples nature to always criticize others achievements it comes down to pure jealousy. Don't judge someone just because the sin differently then you.
lucretia said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 08:44 AM
I love the quote Madonna made many years ago, "I don't care what people are saying about me, be it good or bad, as long as they are talking about me I am happy". I wish this was something I could live by.
Latoya said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 08:42 AM
People always have something to say, That will never ever change - We living in a funny society. Everywhere you go there will be criticism where there its in your home church, schools doesn't matter people will always judge you. All you need to do is take it as it comes and brush it off.
Liesl said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 08:39 AM
In a speech someone quoted"Everyone is entitled to their opinion but you are entitled to accept or reject that opinion". Constructive criticism should always be welcome but demeaning smack talk shouldn't be entertained.
Zanell said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 08:27 AM
I suppose it is also about how a person handles criticism, sometimes criticism just comes down to pure jealously, we can't always take other peoples criticism too seriously. We care way too much about what other people think about us.
Lourien said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 08:26 AM
I find that some people always want to see the negative in everything and to have something to talk about, but I have also noticed that these people saying bad things about one person normally does that to everyone, even when they are best friends, sad to see that people love to gossip and spread stories about anything interesting. People should learn to appreciate more and look at themselves first before making allegations or spreading stories.
Kaylee said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 08:25 AM
I agree with Mathilda people only say negative things about you when they are threatened or insecure iwithin themselves and who they are as a person. The only thing you can do is be yourself and ignore the critics unless there actual substance to what they are saying about you and you can actually use it to better yourself.
Bianca said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 08:23 AM
No matter what you do and what good intentions you have when doing something or helping someone, you will always have one of more critics. It is impossible to have everyone view you in the same positive light when doing something and no matter how and in which manner you execute it, you will always have those who will suggest that you did it in the wrong manner or you did it with ulterior motives. Stop caring what people think and take constructive criticism as a lesson and nasty criticism, just ignore.
Clare said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 08:18 AM
The thing is everyone has a right of freedom of speech regardless of how it affects the person of topic. I take negative wards as a challenge to better myself.
Angelique P said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 08:18 AM
Its really sad that people can be so nasty with each other. No matter what you do or how many effort you put into something they will always find something wrong with it.
They are happy when others are unhappy.
I dont know why people are like this I guess its because they feel that you are a threat to them.
I think if people become less selfish everything will be so much better.
If you have something to say about someone go say it to their face and not behind their backs or otherwise just keep quiet
Melissa P said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 08:14 AM
I can relate to this blog. I'm planning my wedding and somehow I always worry if this person, or that person will like this and that despite the fact that I'll be paying for everything. Sometimes it's just better to please yourself and stop worrying about the rest. If you don't like it, so what! You didn't pay for it anyway!
Jessica Apfel said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 08:05 AM
It is quite disheartening to think that this is the truth of the matter - people should have their best efforts recognised. Human beings are consumed by such a pessimistic perspective of things and other people - we should not condone this and instead start the change. Recognise their efforts and note the difference between constructive crit and crit that can have a really negative impact on the person
Mathilda said:
on Tuesday 11-Oct-16 07:26 AM
This is really true despite your best efforts to do something someone will always have something to say about you be it good or bad
I just think it all comes down to jealousy or they feel threaten by you
I think the world will be a better place if people stop stressing about what other people think and start working on improving themselves
Johannesburg based attorney specializing in personal injury matters including Road Accident Fund claims and medical negligence matters. My interests include golf, reading and the internet and the way it is constantly developing. I have a passion for life and a desire for less stress!
