Attorney Michael de Broglio on: South Africa, Law, Politics, Attorneys, Sport, Photography, Technology, Gadgets, Media, Crime, Road Accidents Fund,
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I would generally buy any book by Malcolm Gladwell, because I have enjoyed reading them in the past, even if he is certainly not my favourite author. He writes anecdotal books that are easy to read, and has had some massive hits with books like The Tipping Point, David and Goliath, Blink and Outliers. He certainly has done very well by writing books – apparently, he got a $6 million advance for his third book and he makes a fortune giving speeches as well. His latest book, Talking to Strangers, is for me the most disappointing of his books that I have read.
In short, the book basically tells you that human beings (and Judges) are not very good at picking when a liar, who is a deliberate liar, lies to us. Human beings are generally trusting people and we try to judge people on certain things we know such as if they look away from us maybe they have been dishonest, but if they make straight eye contact with us while telling a lie we would be more likely to believe it. One mistake that a lot of people make is to distrust people who don’t want to make eye contact with them as if eye contact is indeed a key sign of honesty when in fact a lot of liars are actually excellent at making eye contact while telling a lie and a lot of people who tell the truth don’t necessarily want eye contact. I think Gladwell is certainly very good at telling stories, but I went through the book, reading stories about Amanda Knox, Bernie Madoff and was left with no sense as to how he proposes we should actually learn from this, other than to accept that we are not very good at picking up deliberate liars and con artists.
Posted by Michael de Broglio on Thursday 10-Oct-19
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Comments
Nicolle said:
on Sunday 24-Nov-19 06:38 PM
This sparked my thoughts towards being overly compliant. Compliance in the face of “authority.” Obedience because of a “trusting.” Think of the time where a man called a fast-food restaurant, telling the manager that he is a Police Officer and that one of the employees of the restaurant had stolen from a customer. The “Police Officer” aka the caller, had simply by his title, persuaded the manager of the restaurant to not only strip down the employee, but, also to commit sexual offences. Sound unbelievable? It isn’t, it happened in the great United States of America.
Michelle D said:
on Monday 11-Nov-19 03:09 PM
Majority of people are easy to read when they are lying, however, some people are just good liars. Generally your gut feeling will pick up when something doesn't seem right, however, some people are skilled and inevitably you will get tricked every now and then. There's no way of knowing sometimes.
Tamaryn said:
on Friday 08-Nov-19 12:10 PM
I'm going to see if I can find this book. I tend to think the best liars are the ones who go out of their way to make eye contact when talking to you. I'm not talking about general day to day eye contact during conversation, but when someone tries too hard to maintain eye contact, especially when they are trying to convince you of something, it triggers alarm bells for me.
Lourien said:
on Tuesday 05-Nov-19 03:09 PM
I do agree with Gladwell, people that are shy will tend to avoid eye contact and its very hard to keep eye contact for them as they never feel good enough and then you get people that are used to telling lies they are so good that they are so confident and actually start believing themselves and they can look anyone straight in the face without even blinking. My advise would be that you need to listen very carefully how they repeat a story and how many changes they make to it . If someone is lying about something there is always something they are trying to hide.
Cornelie said:
on Tuesday 05-Nov-19 01:00 PM
People can be so deceiving and we tent to judge on the out but take long to see through people I want to read the book.
Dasanya said:
on Friday 01-Nov-19 04:46 PM
I don't agree that people should be judged on whether eye-contact makes one a liar or not. There are many issues that people face on a daily basis and with society being so judgemental as it is, people develop and live with insecurities. Trust is a separate issue but I don't think that eye-contact on its own is sufficient in determining whether one is a liar or con-artist.
Victoria said:
on Thursday 31-Oct-19 12:52 PM
It's wrong to judge people but as human beings we do judge. I think you have to know the person well before you can tell if they lying or not.
Helen said:
on Thursday 31-Oct-19 07:19 AM
Sounds like Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell is very interesting book to read.
Believe it or not, people aren’t totally transparent to one another. Liars can seem honest, spies can seem loyal, nervous people can seem guilty. People’s facial expressions are not a reliable guide to what they are thinking.
It is very complicated, people are very complicated!
Henrietta said:
on Monday 28-Oct-19 08:32 AM
I'm generally not a good judge of characters, but most certainly not a person who trust easily. I don't think anyone really knows when someone is lying to them unless it's a person you know well. How can you tell a complete stranger is an honest person, not easy to judge on that one. It the same with a compulsive liars how would you know that the person you dealing with have a compulsive to lie about everything?
Claudia B said:
on Friday 25-Oct-19 08:15 AM
I do like my reading and the book sounds interesting to read so I will definitely look out for this book as well to read it.
Mathilda Du Preez said:
on Wednesday 23-Oct-19 03:54 PM
Everyone has different verbal and non-verbal cues and everyone also have their own way of deciding if someone is lying or not may it be if the person is not looking them in the eyes whilst speaking or shaking etc.
This book sounds interesting
Angelique Jurgens said:
on Wednesday 23-Oct-19 12:20 PM
You can never really tell who you can trust and who you cannot. I do strange enough don't trust people who cannot look me in the eye. I know people are shy and awkward but it doesnt sit with me well when someone looks down instead of me in the eye. I really don't believe that you can judge people and think they are lying if they do this or that or their body language is this or that. It is really impossible to know if someone is lying - people could be good liars, people could be nervous people etc.
Zindy said:
on Wednesday 23-Oct-19 09:00 AM
Truth is Truth, As you say Malcom Suggests we are not good at picking up Deliberate liars and con artists. Everyone is different. When you meet someone we are always skeptical at first as we do not know that person yet we build up trust the longer we know this person (Look at the teacher/family friend child abduction case). Then Boom trust broken after some event that has taken place but yet again we meet someone new and we still attempt to build a trust bond with this person as we always try and look for the best part in them. People hardly ever learn.
Sarah said:
on Wednesday 23-Oct-19 08:13 AM
I never heard of this author , sometimes you can pick up when someone is lying, They don't make eye contact at all or they smile a bit. I will have to read this book
Thabitha said:
on Tuesday 22-Oct-19 03:35 PM
I must say the person who can read or pick up liars, that person is brilliant
Alexis said:
on Tuesday 22-Oct-19 09:35 AM
I think what he is trying to do is just make you aware if the fact that people in general are not very nice and the chances of them lying is quite high. I cannot lie easily and so prefer not to...and trust if I try, you will catch me out in a heartbeat.
Ashleigh said:
on Tuesday 22-Oct-19 09:28 AM
I agree with Daniella, we are all different with the way we communicate and deal with situations and life. I cannot stand when people think that a book is going to tell you how to live life and how to see other people. The only book I find to be good is The Bible.
Roxanne Raautenbach said:
on Tuesday 22-Oct-19 09:28 AM
Everyone is different some are really good at lying and don't show signs of a lie and a lot of people just want to look for the best in people
Joyce said:
on Wednesday 16-Oct-19 04:47 PM
Malcolm’s books sound interesting, would like to read when I come across them.
Daniella said:
on Wednesday 16-Oct-19 03:42 PM
This book really doesn't seem like a book I would want to read- Everybody is different with how they communicate and approach situations humans like to come up with standard behaviors of how people should be acting - The thing is that as humans we are so complex and completely different from one another.
Tersia said:
on Wednesday 16-Oct-19 01:25 PM
Doesn't sound interesting at all to be honest. It is true that a lot of people do tend to believe when you are making eye contact you are telling the truth, but if you (an honest person) are aware of this then a liar should be aware of it and that is when they will be more vigilant to make eye contact - makes sense. In certain circumstances it would be nice to know if someone is telling a lie, but everyone does it and sometimes the lie is to help someone or make someone feel better.
Megan said:
on Monday 14-Oct-19 09:27 AM
Whether liar or not, if the person doesn't own up to their lies then the lie would become their truth? I agree with Bianca, if it isn't helpful then why read it... Kudos to those who can pick out liars I guess.
Thembi said:
on Friday 11-Oct-19 04:12 PM
I do read sometimes.Malcolm's book it looks interesting I have to try one
Melissa said:
on Friday 11-Oct-19 03:08 PM
This looks like an interesting book to read and I would love to have a skill like that
Fikile said:
on Friday 11-Oct-19 08:32 AM
I am not a book person but i will like to start with Malcolm's books
Prishani said:
on Thursday 10-Oct-19 05:57 PM
I don't think this is something I would read. I have learnt that if people have to lie they will, most people will do whatever it takes to get their way and the easiest and most common way to do that would be by lying! I probably don't have the skill of pointing out a liar!
Bianca N said:
on Thursday 10-Oct-19 10:42 AM
From looking at the cover it looks like it could be interesting. But ultimately if the book does not teach you anything and only points out that we are bad at picking out liars, then it tells me nothing new in which case I would rather get something a little bit more educating to read.
Ziyanda said:
on Thursday 10-Oct-19 10:06 AM
I have not read any of his books but it does not interest me. The fact that we are not good at picking up lies is nothing new.
Michelle Smillie said:
on Thursday 10-Oct-19 08:50 AM
I have watched the serious Lie to Me a few years ago and I must say, it teaches a bit about distinguishing lies from truth. It's a crime drama series with a leading deception researcher helping to solve crimes. He focuses on facial expressions, tone of voice and body language to distinguish lies from truth and it was quite an eye-opener for me.
sandra said:
on Thursday 10-Oct-19 07:21 AM
This is why I prefer talking face-to-face because when you stand up for yourself via email it is still not believed that you are actually telling the truth. Some people will always have the charm and charisma to get away with the small stuff while you yourself that just tries to point out the facts, still you are not believed. Obviously putting off signs that you are lying face-to-face is obvious, unless you are a pathological lier, then yes, of course you will get away with the lies, but it later catches up with you at some or other stage as the truth always comes out some or other time. I have never heard of the author and I do not have time to read books, but definitely something to look into during the holidays
Brumilde Cronje said:
on Thursday 10-Oct-19 07:12 AM
It is a shame I have not heard of him before. His books sound interesting. It would be a wonderful skill to be able to tell offhand when someone is lying and i am not talking about an obvious lie, the little white lies that you dont even think about
Bianca Taljaard said:
on Thursday 10-Oct-19 07:08 AM
I think in general people are way to quick to judge. I for one like to make eye contact when i talk to people and also like when they make eye contact with me. This really sounds like a boring book to read.
Johannesburg based attorney specializing in personal injury matters including Road Accident Fund claims and medical negligence matters. My interests include golf, reading and the internet and the way it is constantly developing. I have a passion for life and a desire for less stress!
